Extraordinary Politeness

During the early stages of the first Gulf War the US Army experienced a recurring cycle of declining morale.  It would gradually improve and then decline again about every three weeks.  After several unsuccessful interventions they finally found a solution – extraordinary politeness.  In addition to adhering to standard military courtesies they found that by having servers in the mess hall provide extraordinary service and attention to soldiers as they went through the serving line the morale increased and the cycle of declines was broken.  By interacting politely with focused attention on each individual and their specific preferences among the available choices they significantly reduced complaints and irritations about food.  Although everyone was not 100% satisfied, most people had a positive experience and did not join in to create a growing chorus of complaints when someone expressed dissatisfaction.   The real success however was that breaking those negative attitudes went beyond the mess hall to their regular duties.  If attitudes did turn negative, three times a day there was a positive experience of service and politeness to counteract it.

Fortunately most of us are not in a war zone.  Yet complaints about the boss, employees, customers, vendors, co-workers, the government, the economy or other unpleasant situations can dominate conversations and create a cultural climate of low morale and disengagement.  Whether we are leaders of an army, a large corporation, a small business, head of a household or simply a member of a work team or informal social group we can change a negative climate by consciously being extraordinarily polite to those around us;  not complaining; and not joining in when we hear others complaining.  We encourage you to try it for three weeks at least three times a day and then let us know what you experienced.  We look forward to getting your feedback!